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asdfadsfDave: Bad Doctor Obtained from: Kids in the Hall FAQ Dave: Wanna know something? I'm a bad doctor. I'm not boasting. I mean, who would? Just stating a fact that I've never really gotten the hang of the whole healing-the-sick thing. And don't interpret this as some sort of false modesty, please its not, its not like I’m weak in some areas. No, I'm homogeneously unqualified to practice medicine in any capacity. I *really* don't have a clue. And no one could be more shocked than me that I've been allowed to rise to a position of such importance and responsibility. I guess it all started in high school where I was a very bad science student. One day when we were supposed to be dissecting a frog, I accidentally disassembled my desk. Oh, but, you know, I was a popular kid. You know, the other students were always eager to help me out. So you know, during a test whenever I'd get that *confused* look on my face - which was invariably - well, the cheat notes would just start flying! Even the teachers would start whispering answers, you know, *ahem* mitochondria... But I didn't worry about it. I figured, how far could you coast on charm? Well, pretty far, actually! They just offered me the job of Chief of Surgery. Apparently, I've logged more hours in surgery than any other man my age. Four thousand hours this year alone. What no one seems to have noticed that it was all with the same patient. Oh I wanna show†¦. Oh, I want to show you something. You know what this is? Urine. Another man's urine, aonther man’s urine. I ask for it, and they give it to me! I don't know what to do with it! I've got a fridge full of this stuff. I mean, I suppose I could send it out to the lab, but they'd only send back a lot of test results that I couldn't possibly understand. The only thing I'm actually sorta good at is referrals. You know that thing where doctors send patients to other doctors. Well, I'm the king of referrals. What I do is I call the, uh, the sick person into my office, and I stare for a long time really seriously at this blank sheet of paper.

Summit Of Greatness

It was December 2, 1804, with over 400 musicians and singers performing. The world famous cathederal, Notre Dame, was filled. All eyes were set upon Napoleon Bonaparte. This Corsican native slowly ascended the steps to the alter alone, siezing the crown with his own hands. He held it aloft and brought it to rest on his head. Napoleon Bonaparte was crowned Emperor of France that day. Napoleon was an everday guy. He was a 5? 2? lieutenant who was later ranked a general. He married Josephine DeVorne. At first, Napoleon wasn’t very liked amongst certain parts of Europe. Mothers would say to their kids at night to make them sleep a little nightmare raising lullaby†¦ † Baby baby, naughty baby, hush you scwaling thing i say, hush your scwaling or it may be Bonepart that pass this way. † Napoleon was nothing more then an average Corsican man with a cleaver mind. Working was a passion for Napoleon. In 1805, Napoleon planned to cross the English channel. Much like most other conquerors in Eurpope’s land Napoleon had one goal in mind, to conquer all of Europe. As he crossed the channel to invade Great Britain, with 2,000 ships, and 200,000 soldiers, he soon met victory. With that in mind, Russia and Austria wouldn’t allow Napoleon to roam with triumph. Soon after the Grand Army was put to the test against the French. The Russian army was known as the strongest and most feared around. Russia and Austria’s plan to win was by outnumbering Napoleon 2:1. France was looking pretty weak and had no chance of defeating the Russian’s and Austrian’s. But Napoleon saw the flaw in this. The Austrians and Russians were planning to meet half way. Their armies were scattered. So, Napoleon figured if if he was to beat the one army before the two armies linked up,then his men would’ve still stood a chance. Napoleon did just so. He took General Mac (Austria’s general) by surprised and conquered them leaving them forced surrendor. 27,000 men surrendered. Mac lost almost half his army. † I didn’t intend to fight any but England, until your master provoked me† said Napoleon. Nothing stood now between Napoleon and Vienna. In 8 days, Napoleon destroyed Austria’s army by marching, (200,000 marching men, marched 500 miles in 40 days-defeated Austria’s army). On November first Napoleon lead his army into Vienna, the capitol of Austria. The emperor was the first to fleed. Leaving behind his palace and gardens free for the enemy. Bonaparte triumphed alongthe streets. Many then stopped worshipping Napoleon, such as Ludwig Beethoven. On October 21, British admiral Nelson destroyed Napoleon’s army, and took along his own life. Napoleon no longer had the Grand army. French stopped challangeing the British army. It was December of 1805, when Napoleon was faced with an even greater challenge. He was now 1,000 miles from Paris, and was in the center of Europe. With enemies from all angles, Europes land was a great trap to Napoleon’s men. With the knowledge that the Russian’s has once again united with the Austrian’s in November, this time with 90,000 allies put together against France’s 75,000 men, Napoleon had one of two choices. He could’ve either gone back or to move along foward. Bonaparte would’ve NEVER moved back. So, now Napoleon was to face Alexander I, the emperor of Russia. Alexander I(28 years of age) was very jealous of Napoleon. He believed that it was his destiny to triumph over Napoleon. The war against the Russian’s seemed impossible. But leave it up to Napoleon, he was a thinker. He had a plan to encourage the enemy to think he was scared. He wanted to lead the enemy to the battle field of Australit, by making them think Napoleon was weaker then he really was. Once again, Napoleon succeeded. The Russian’s came to battle by hitting Napoleon on the right (the weaker end) first. Bonaparte wanted them to do exactly that. The Russian’s fed right into his plan! Napoleon had a secret for the Russian’s. He had previously set up 2 divisons within 70 miles in 2 days to attack the Russian’s. The attack caught the enemy by surprise and yet gave Napoleon another victory. Napoleon was sort of an artist he planned each battle as if the next move would perfect the whole piece of art, the end of the battle. Napoleon being the whole hearted Corsican man he was. He never let the power get to his head. Over a duration of time Bonaparte’s name was being spread all throughtout Europe. He still managed to write letter’s to his wife and he even elected each of his siblings to an office. His brother Joseph to be the king of Naples, Jerome the king of West Falia, Louis the king of Holand. His sister Caroline to be a Queen, pauline a princess, and Alicia a Dutchess. Trough all the battles and victory Napoleon gained much popularity in no time. Yet, he remained a mother’s boy. He loved his mother and made her Madame Mayor. Josephine and Napoleon were made for eachother. Though, both of them had their own quirrels. Josephine hated all the mistresses Napoleon had. Napoleon hated the habits that Josephine had with spending money. Josephine knew that one day no matter how strong her love was for Napoleon, he would’ve had to divorce her. The day came on November 30, 1809.

Personal Statement Of Faith By God - 881 Words

PERSONAL STATEMENT OF FAITH As a man purchased by God through his Son, I believe it is necessary to clearly state, in a concise manner, the â€Å"closed-handed† truths I believe as guided by Scripture. My Statement of Faith summarizes essential Christian beliefs, shows unity in Christ, and guards me from potential error. I affirm these gospel truths, with the understanding that my confidence in these truths grows progressively over time. These beliefs are great cause for joy. Far more than just words on a page, they are precious gifts from God. I. The Scriptures. I believe that the 66 books of the Bible are God’s word revealed to us, written by God’s apostles and prophets. In its original manuscripts it contains truth without error as it unfolds the story of God – his creation, our fall, his redemption and restoration; therefore it is, and will remain to the end of the world, the true center of Christian union. The Scriptures are the supreme standard by which all human conduct, creeds, and opinions should be tried. II. The Triune God. We believe that there is one, and only one, living and true God. He is an infinite, intelligent Spirit, the Maker and Supreme Ruler of heaven and earth, glorious in holiness, and worthy of all possible worship, trust, and love. In the unity of the Godhead there are three persons: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, equal in every divine perfection, and executing distinct but complimentary offices in the great work of redemption. a.Show MoreRelatedStatement Of Faith, And One Baptism888 Words   |  4 PagesStatement of Faith I believe in one Lord, one faith, and one baptism (Ephesians 4:5-6), and that I belong to Him in every aspect of my life. I believe that in Grace, He died on the cross and rose from the grave, and this constitutes the resurrection of Jesus Christ (I Corinthians 15:4). I believe Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice, the perfect (without blemish) sacrifice for our sins (Colossians 1:22; I Peter 1:19). I came to know of Jesus at a young age, but developed a close personal relationshipRead MoreTilich, Marx and Feuerbach637 Words   |  3 PagesFeuerbach Tillich argues that, â€Å"Faith precedes all attempts to derive it from something else, because these attempts are themselves based on faith† (9). There is a feeling of confirmation by the will of what ultimately concerns a person, but faith itself is definitely not the creation of the will. Therefore, faith is not an independent act of having a â€Å"will to believe.† This argument derives from Tillich’s belief that faith is the state of being ultimately concerned. Faith requires both rational and non-rationalRead MoreDefinition Of Meaning Of The Creed1302 Words   |  6 Pagesbelieve. However creed and confessions of belief are not to be confused. While a statement of faith such as I believe only pertains to the person a creed specifically unites all persons. In a general sense of creed defines the way in which a person or group live out their life including all of their actions and morals. In this way a creed allows for a sense of personal identity to be ex pressed, ergo a way of personal and social morals to be constructed. However morals never necessarily have a rightRead MoreThe Reason For God : Christian Values And Biblical Faith Essay1479 Words   |  6 PagesThe Reason for God PaviElle McLaughlin Christian Values And Biblical Faith (BIB 4153 01) Professor Paul Copan September 19, 2016 â€Æ' Part I According to E.F. Peters, â€Å"The three great faiths called Judaism, Christianity, and Islam were born of an event that each remembers as a moment in history, when the One True God appeared to an Iron Age sheikh named Abram and bound him in a covenant forever (Peters, 2004).† Unfortunately, a paradox exists between the three monotheists – Jesus. Islam and JudaismRead MoreChristians Should Not Press their Beliefs upon their Society838 Words   |  3 Pagestheir mouths. That these ‘geniuses’ would put down their own personal views and beliefs long enough to see the clear and logical answer. Instead, they are clouded by their ingrained thought and thus cannot give an unbiased opinion. Julius R. Oppenheimer is a perfect example. This exemplary theoretical physicist and scholar was man was quoted by theologian and philosopher Francis Schaeffer as saying: â€Å"Christianity is just a person’s personal belief, while modern science is a fact. Christi ans shouldRead MoreDiscuss Spirituality And How It Can Influence Individuals Faith And Affect Their Way Of Prosper1235 Words   |  5 Pages How Spiritual Am I? Stephanie Hernandez Azusa Pacific University â€Æ' Abstract The purpose of this paper is to discuss spirituality and how it can influence individuals’ faith and affect their way of prosper in their chosen religion. Spirituality applies a connection with faith; both create confidence and trust in searching for a meaning for life or a superior being, depending on the individual’s chosen religion. The research completed for this paper was determined from the results ofRead MoreFowler, Sweeney, Kohlberg853 Words   |  4 Pages Sweeney, and Kohlberg are three examples of faith movements. These movements describe the steps of development in our faith and moral code. When Jesus said, â€Å"the Kingdom of God is within you† he was making us aware of the relationship we have with God, ourselves, and other. Fowler broke down the development of faith into six stages. Stage one is intuitive-projective faith. This stage is for pre-school children where their basic feelings about God, Jesus, and the Church are learned from theirRead MoreSummary : The Lord Will Always Make A Way 1392 Words   |  6 Pagesjourney. My mother would always states the Lord will always make a way† she would always refer to this statement whenever herself or others was experiencing long suffering. This demonstrating of faith and trust in Jesus Christ was imbedded within me. Whenever, I was experiencing any turmoil or chaos, I created due to my substance abuse; this period of my life; I found myself making the same statement, despite my addictive attitudes and behaviors. My grandmother was the oldest of twelve children’s ofRead MoreWhat Does The Meaning Of Life?984 Words   |  4 Pagesare in and what they feel the need to accomplish in their lifetime. Some create their own personal meaning, others are given their meaning with no insight and lastly, others choose to avoid the real world and create a fantasy life. Although the definition is different from person to person, what is significant in the meaning of life is not only to exist in the world but to achieve our desired goals, have faith on our decisions, and learn about something new. Imagine rocking yourself back and forthRead MoreReligion-Week 1764 Words   |  4 Pagescoexist. Name at least two (2) key points from the podcast that substantiate your position. I do believe that religion and science can coexist. In the interview the commentator explains that one of professor Francisco Ayalas (Faith Matters. 2010, April 02) statements was that science and religion need not be in contradiction if they are properly understood..... religion explains why and science explains how..... but they are one in the same ( Lab activity: Chapter 1). They really complement